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Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Woman of My Dreams

Yes. Natasha Fatale. How could I not love her?

For some inane reason, I was thinking Rocky and Bullwinkle today. They were a staple of my childhood and since I'm almost grown now, I thought I'd Google them to find out the deep nonsense that they're made of. Well, I only read Natasha's bio. After "knowing" her better, I didn't really care about the rest of the R&B crew. Here are her stats. Really!

Natasha is a spy for the fictional nation of Pottsylvania, and takes orders from the nation's leader, Fearless Leader (and occasionally the rarely-seen Mr. Big). Natasha usually serves as an assistant or accomplice to her fellow spy, Boris Badenov. Like Boris, Natasha also delights in performing various criminal misdeeds. She seems to be a bit more intelligent, or at least more thoughtful, than Boris, and often points out flaws in his plans or voices slight contempt for his bungling, to which his customary reply was "Sharrup you mouth, Natasha." Also, Natasha does say "SHARRUP YOUR MOUTH!!!!" to Boris in one episode, as their car goes over a cliff in The Treasure of Monte Zoom.

Her past is something of a mystery. According to the Rialto Theater's Moosebill for Downhill: The Musical (the table of contents for Rocky and Bullwinkle & Friends, The Third Season), she is the only child of Axis Sally and Count Dracula. A former Miss Transylvania, she was expelled from college for subversive activities. She traveled from Transylvania to the United States at the age of 19, landing in New York, where she spent two years posing for Charles Addams and as the party girl who pops out of the big cake at embalmers' stag parties.

She met Boris Badenov in 1948, when they were both arrested for throwing rocks at Girl Scouts hawking Girl Scout Cookies. Immediately smitten with her charms, she and Boris have been partners in crime ever since.

In her spare time, Natasha raises tarantulas and is the National Chairman of the Society to Restore The Real Meaning of Halloween.

Usually, Natasha's and Boris's misdeeds are thwarted by Rocky the Flying Squirrel and Bullwinkle the Moose. She refers to them collectively as "Moose and Squirrel."

Natasha is almost always shown in a purple dress, but in the last season it is often red.

Catchphrases -

Natasha's main catchphrase is referring to everyone as "dollink" — that is, "darling" as spoken with her thick Pottsylvanian accent (a mock-Russian accent) — an homage to actress-socialite Zsa Zsa Gaborand her habit of calling everyone "darling" (or in her Hungarian accent, "dahlink").

She was originally known as "Natasha Nogoodnik".

Okay, so she modeled for Charles Addams and she's the only child of Dracula? We were made for each other!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Chaotic Posting Schedule

I know, I'm here - I'm not - I'm unreliable. I'm in a cocoon period. Sharing my weekly exploits seems to bite me in the ass, so I'm waiting for something solid to happen. I'm expecting some kind of slow down/relatively docile period soon. I've been here and there, up and down, Bed & Breakfast and not. Incredibly uncontrolled year.

Once again, I feel like I'm making a bold move and moving toward...something comfortable and real. I'm doing everything in my limited power to buy a house with my "girlfriend." She's actually waaaay more than that. Besides, I'm over 50 now, "girlfriend" isn't a word I should be allowed to use anymore. We want this house almost as much as we want Canada and the US to erase those imaginary lines and become one (taking the best ideas from both countries and blending together seamlessly). Americanada? Canaderica?

So far, it ain't easy. Realtors, owners, lenders, a mishmosh of dumb shit stands in the way. I am not deterred. I am focused on making everyone involved ONE with me. There is a point where all parties converge. I am steering toward that point.

My next dining room?